Family Chaos
by Mavrill
Summary: Summary: When the tactican gets a surprise visit from his two wacky cousin's, all hell breaks lose in the army and all sane life as they know it gets shoved out the window.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem, But I do own Mavrill.

Summary: When the Tactician gets a surprise visit from his cousins all hell breaks loose in the army and somehow they end up with new Assistants Tactician's and there journey takes a hectic twist.

"Ok Troops!" Mavrill shouted as he marked several things on his clipboard. "Today we march into Dread Isle, Some of you may not come back alive, NO Sain that doesn't me you can use that as an excuse to spend a night with a beautiful lady and furthermore.." Mavrill was interrupted by a Loud bang and mist rising next to the tactician.

The murmured confusion of the army was penetrated by 2 voices, "I told you we should have just walked but nooo you have to teleport here" A female voice said. "But walking would take too long they'd be on the ship by then" A male voice replied. Slowly 2 forms slowly appeared out of the mist. The male got out of the fog first and scratched his head looking around. The Girl came next and she caused some murmuring among the male half of the army. She had silver hair and purple eyes and had cat ears and tail.

Several cries of "She's a demon" and from Elliewood "Boy she's hot!" pierced the air. The girl just ignored them though and grabbed Mavrill in a bear hug. "Kiyoko .I .Can't...breath..." Mavrill squeaked out turning blue in the face. Chuckling the man drew Kiyoko away from the tactician who gave a sigh of relief and clutched his ribs. "Thanks Charlie.." He muttered then standing up to his full hight, which barely met Charlie's shoulder he asked, "What brings my cousins to Bandon?" Charlie was about to say something but Kiyoko blurted it out first. "Were supposed to bring you back!" she said happily taking out a box with the label "Pocky" Clearly Marked on it.

"What..But why?" Mavrill asked a bit scared at this point, surprising his troops. They hadn't seen him this flustered since he walked in on Florina bathing. " Because" Charlie said simply letting go of Kiyoko to advance on his cousin, "You left without Grandmothers permission" Mavrill paled incredibly. "I told that bag of bones that I'm not listening to her anymore!" He said backing up all the way to the wall now, he looked into the crowd for a look of support but all he got was a look of amusement from all.

"Hey don't talk about grandma that way!" Kiyoko said looking up from her box of pocky. "She's nice she gives me lots of pocky and stuff" She said pouting. Charlie stopped advancing on his cousin for a moment and took a blank face. "But if you let us come with you..I might just forget what Grandma asked me to do." Mavrill's face took on a look of defeat. "Fine you win...but no complaining and tell Kiyoko to stock up on pocky here." The tactician looked at the girl who was again munching happily with a certain amount of affection. " She'll lose it if she runs out on the journey." Charlie shook his head with a exhausted look on his face. "I got a bad feeling about my wealth after this shopping spree." He grabbed his cousins arm and pulled her out the door, leaving the army to continue packing up, and dwell on the days events.

_Several hours, and a thousand_

_gold pieces later_

"Ok you wanted to see us cousin?" Charlie asked as he and Kiyoko sat down in a chair. "Yes. I agreed to take you guys in but I need you to help me out and not get in the way while you're here." Charlie nodded along with Kiyoko who was already eating her pocky and not really paying any attention what he cousin was saying. "You'll be my assistants god knows I need em..." Mavrill said groaning at the though of how hard it was getting to manage there army.

"Ok so you'll be Elliewood's representative" Mavrill said pointing to Kiyoko and handing her some forms with information on him and his stewards." He then turned to Charlie and handed him some papers as well. "Your Hectors Representative" he said leaning back in his chair. "Any other questions?" Mavrill asked fiddling with something under his desk. "Yes." Kiyoko asked looking at her cousin curiously. "What do you have in your hands" she said trying to peer into his hands. "Nothing" He said promptly standing up and quickly shoving a round object in his pocket. "Dismissed"

_In the meeting room_

Mavrill cleared his throat to stop the muttering going through the army. "As you know, we now have 2 new assistant Tacticians, They will be helping me manage the army and representing a different lord. Kiyoko, My youngest cousin will be representing Elliewood." Several cries of lucky pierced the air. "Also if any of you have anything dirty in mind" His gaze turned to Sain at this. "I will have you be Serra's bunk mate for the rest of the journey." This statement seemed to quiet down most of the people though Elliewood didn't stop his constant staring at Kiyoko.

"My other cousin Charlie shall be representing Hector" Mavrill continued pointing out his other cousin who was currently sitting next to Lyn and talking to her intently. When he heard his name he raised his hand and then went back to his conversation. "This won't change much except you now have more people to listen to, and the desert will always by Pocky." At this Kiyoko squealed and jumped happily. "Now lets move out!" The lead tactician shouted and headed over towards Fargus's ship.

_Several hours later._

"Arr..Any reason you brought so much pocky on board?" Fargus asked Mavrill who busy puking over the side of the boat. "My cousin likes it" he answered laying back, his face still green. "She goes crazy without it for too long" He continued as he grabbed the side of the boat to keep from falling over. "Don't got you see legs yet boy?" Fargus asked laughing. He slapped Mavrill on the back sending the startled tactician nearly over the edge of the boat. "Nope..." The teen said as he got sick once again over the boat. Fargus shaking his head walked over towards some of his crew laughing. "Not feeling to good Mav?" Kiyoko asked cheerfully skipping down to her cousin. "No. How can you not be feeling sick after all this bouncing?" He asked. "I don't know" The girl said shrugging. " I like the feeling of the sea." Mavrill groaned, all the talking was giving him a headache. "Why don't you go help Charlie do some chores" he asked wearily. "Okay" the energetic girl said, bouncing up and down. He watched her bounce off and then saw a pirate yelling something about a breach in the hull of the ship. "My day can't get any worse.." Mavrill groaned and stumbled off to find out the problem.

AN: End of chapter one, what did you think, and before any one starts raving Kiyoko and Charlie gave me permission to use there characters and junk so no I'm not some freaky stalker.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Fe, I don't own cooking with Martah Stuart either, (If there even is such a thing) and I don't have anything against her. I think her food tastes great.

Mavrill surveyed the scene warily. Farugses ship was connected to the enemy vessels by planks, Which he noted seemed to be very flammable. The pirates themselves had rushed down to fix a hole in the ships hull so he couldn't expect much help from them for a little hit. "Ok" he muttered looking over his troops and the enemies that seemed to be taking up position. "Lowen and Rebeca over on the top right plank" He said pointing to the plank. Lowen nodded and helped the blushing Rebeca onto his horse and started over to the plank. "Kent and will take the plank below them" The two men nodded and started towards there plank. "Charlie you and Serra go with them. Make sure there well advised and make sure that Serra gets protection if she needs it." The Tactician finished. Charlie groaned, he had only been with the army for a day and he already had learned to fear The pink Haired Devil. He started over to the right side of the ship, the cleric chatting into his ear the entire way.

"Elliewood and Lyn you two are in charge of buying supplies for the army" Mavrill continued glancing at the enemy getting closer. "Make sure you prepare us well for the fight ahead. We won't get much of a chance to shop untill we return" The two lords nodded and started over towards the shop. Sain and Lucius you two go towards the left side of the boat and get ready to defend there. Take some holy water with you..." He said tossing Sain the bottle of water. "Priscilla you go with them and keep em in top condition.." He stopped a minute and looked at Sain who was staring hungrily at Priscilla who was fidgeting under the paladins gaze un-comfortably. "Oh and Take Raven with you!" Mavrill added, taking pride in the fear residing in Sain's eyes and the relieved sigh coming from the red haired Troubadour there group marched off with Sain staying far ahead of Raven.

"Now for the center part of the plan.." Mavrill muttered. He motioned to Florina to come over to him. She walked up to him cowering a bit and asked the tactician "W-what d-do you w-want?" She asked him slightly curious. The tactician whispered something into Florina's ears and she seemed to think for a minute before saying "I-I'll take care of it.." and going into Merlinus tent.

_With Lowen and Rebeca._

"How are you doing Rebeca?" Lowen asked stabbing another bandit with his Iron Lance. "Good Sire Lowen, I was just re-Living the day you saved our village from hundreds of bandits. "P-please Ms. Rebeca there was only 10 at most..." The embarrassed Cavalry stuttered. "In the heat of battle it felt like many more.." Rebeca said dreamily, as she sniped a mercenary coming at Lowen with a long sword who fell instantly clutching at the arrow imbedded in his heart. "You appeared on your white horse and chased them aw" She started but was intererupted by Lowen. "But Ms. My Horse is Sorrel." He said finishing off the last of the mercenaries on his side of the plank and picking up the longsword from the mercenaries hands. "Please Sir Lowen, This is my fantasy don't ruin it for me" Rebeca said in a dreamy voice. Lowen just shook his head baffled and dug into his pack for a vulnerary.

_With Kent and Will_

"Do you think we should be worried that they have a dark mage..?" Will asked as he continued to pick off all the mercenaries who lined up on the plank to get at Kent. "No." Kent said firmly as he stabbed his lance through 2 soldiers. "Umm ok.." Will murmured at he sniped the mercenary carrying a holy water. He turned to get an arrow and noticed glowing symbols underneath Kent's feet. "Watch out Kent!" He shouted but it was too late for the cavalry to do anything and the dark magic blasted him. "Damn it! SERRA GET OVER HERE!" Will shouted as he picked off the shaman and attempted to get a lock on the mercenary who was heading towards Kent's body.

The cleric heard the archer and stopped chattering in Charlies ear which was pointless seeing as how he had lost all feeling it several minutes ago. "I see..bright lights.." Charlie whispered as he curled into fetal position. Serra meanwhile reached Kent and raised her heal staff in the air and started chanting. Blue light enveloped the red horsemen while Will picked off all the opposition he could. He was relieved to see Lowen and Rebeca come charging down the side of the enemy ship and slaying the last of the mercenaries from behind.

"He'll be ok.." The pink haired cleric said lowering her staff. Kent groaned and sat up. Tiredly. "What happened..?" He asked groggily. Serra who had asked will earlier started to tell him. Of course...In her own straaange way. "Ohmygoshyou'llneverbelieveityougothitbythisbigburstofdarkmagicandthenyoufaintedandIrushedoverandhealedyouIoughtagetaraise!" She finished. Kent groaned and closed his eyes wearily

_With Sain, Lucius, Priscilla, and Raven._

"Why is there so many dark mage's.." Sain complained as he downed another gulp of holy water. "This is probably a command of dark mage's." Lucius said advancing further onto the enemy ship. They had left Raven to guard the stair way where reinforcements kept appearing from. He had looted the holy water off a dark mage so they weren't worried about him too much. Suddenly a punch of dark mage's appeared right behind Lucius. The startled monk turned around at the sound of chanting and stared into the faces of 5 black mage's. He was thinking that was the end when he heard the cry of a Pegasus. He looked up to see Florina wielding a torch dropping out of the sky heading towards the dark mage's who hadn't noticed her yet. Aiming carefully she dive-bombed them, startling several, and then dropping her lit torch onto the blank which burst into flame.

The mage's let out terrified screams and fell into the water where they were dragged under my hungry fish. Lucius Let out a sigh of relief and started towards the remaining mage. Lucius could tell he was the ring leader by the complicated runes he had on his robes. He finally came to a stop at the range of his attack and turned to the mage warily. "Why do you seek the girl she hasn't harmed you in any way I can see.." the monk said taking out his tome. "Because the great Nergal demands it. Of course...I'm allowed to have my way with her if I feel like it..and I do!"

Lucius felt an un-known emotion enter his body. Rage. How could a man this vile be allowed to live. "She's just a child." Lucius spoke in a quiet voice. "You shall know the wrath of the gods!" The monk felt his cap fly out behind him as the power of the gods flowed through him. Gesturing in the air with his hands he sent a huge blast of light magic at the Shaman who promptly let out a scream and dissolved into nothing by ashes. "So ends the life of a vile human" The blond haired man stated and turned around to where Florina was waiting to ferry him back to there ship. But when he turned he noticed a glint in the ashes of the man. He picked it up, curious to see what could withstand the wrath of the gods. It was...A COOK BOOK!. Lucius curiously stowed it away in his sack and walked over to the waiting Pegasus knight.

Seeing there leader obliterated the enemy ships detached from Fagus's vessel and spead towards a mist shrouded isle... The army gathered around Mavrill to here how they had done. "You all did an excellent job" Mavrill stated as he grasped on to the rail. "Sadly we didn't get any treasure from this...We only could afford a few extra weapons.." Lucius thought about the cook book and brought it forward. "I found this in the remains of the lead dark mage." Mavrill took the book curiously and read the title. "Hmm it's called...COOKING WITH MARTHA STUART!" The lead tactician shook his head in disbelief. "I never heard of her...but hey whats this being used as a book mark?" The man pulled out a pure white feather and put it up to the sun. He was just about to say something when Kiyoko jumped up and snatched it from his hands. "Its pretty! I want it." She said. Suddenly she blinked and felt a warm feeling all over her body.

"W-Whats happening to me?" She asked as the feeling disappeared. "Well as I was saying..." Mavrill continued looking annoyed. "That was a speed wing. It raises the person who uses it's speed by 2." The man sighed and shook his head. "What a waste.." he mumbled. Kiyoko wasn't paying much attention though. On hearing it raised her speed she began to run the length of the deck squealing in happiness at the feeling of the wind through her hair.

Mavrill continued reading it and then through it to Charlie who was being assisted by Erk back to the front deck. The Assistant Tactician still looked like he was in shock but caught the book fine. "Could you make anything out of that book?" Mavrill asked curiously. I've never heard of her but her meals look good and we already have this stuff in our supplies. Charlie flipped through a few pages in the book and nodded. "I can make this easy.." he boasted. Mavrill smiled at him in a way that made Charlie know he had jut made a mistake. "Congratulations" His cousin said clapping his hands. "Your are new cook!" Charlie paled and thought 6 words. "I hate it when I'm right"

End of Chapter 2.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem. If I did I would be a lot happier then I am now!.

A/N: Well..Final updating since Kiyoko reviewed . Anyhow to answer you North Sword, I have something planned so it won't be too short...

Quote of the day: _Mavrill to friend on the soccer field._

Friend: I got that feeling again...

Mavrill: You mean the one that generally suggest Karma is gonna give you a swift kick in the ass?

Friend:..yup

**Chapter 3 **

"Land!" Mavrill yelled throwing himself off the boarding plank on onto the ground. "QUICKLY!" Charlie shouted seeing his cousin sprawled on the ground. "Trample him tell we all get raises!" he continued leading a majority of the army down the plank and over the lead tactician. After several minutes off pain the teen finaly yelled out "200 Bonus for everyone" at his words the army backed off.

"...I bleed.." the lead tactician groaned bitterly. He blinked around and surveyed his surroundings. "Well we seem to be in the middle of nowhere. So I say we make ca." The boy didn't finish because Kiyokos ears pricked up. Charlie looked at his sister concerned. "What is it Kiyo?" He asked curiously. The girls eyes narrowed and one word came out. "Squirrel.." Mavrill all so looked up at this. "...for old time sake?" He asked his cousin who nodded in reply.

The girl tactician brought out a hammer while the lead tactician took out a frying pan. "GET HIM!" They both shouted tearing across the glade after a furry blur. Charlie looked after his cousins a resigned look on his face. "Lets go after them.." He sighed starting after the two tacitans who were waaay off into the distance.

"_Mean while"_

Uhai paced around the tree angrily. "They were supposed to be here hours ago..How am I supposed to get my bonus Doll ERR I mean awsome..warrior..stuff...If I have no hero's to slaughter?

_Back to the important people._

"This is pointless. Why don't you and me go find a nice cozy inn together..." Sain muttered to Florina. The youngest Pegasus knight let out a squeak drawing the attention of Lyn who thrust the back of her sword into Sains chest and giving Florina enough time to escape the perverted Cavalry.

"There they are!" Hector shouted pointing to the two tacticians who were surrounding the squirrel that was sitting on a strange circle. With a savage cry of "DIE SPAWN OF EVIL" Mavrill and kiyoko jumped at the squirrel which darted out from between them. Suddenly the circle started glowing and the two tacitans disappeared. With a disbelieving shout of "MY SISTER!" Charlie ran at the circle and then he too disappeared. "Ok so I guess we need new tacitans..." Heath said being practical

"Uh...not me..." Hector said.. Sheepishly rubbing his head. "I failed all those tacitans classes.." Shaking her head Lyn added "Me neither..I'm a warrior not a tactician." All heads turned to Elliewood who was crying out "My dear Kiyoko" much too the dis-tane of the people sitting next to him. A unanimous "NO" Rang out among the crowd.

"Right then.." Dart said. "We best go find out old ones then huh?" A bunch of heads nodded and the army began moving cautiously too the circle. " Wait...I have seen this symbol before" Canas piqued up. "It has to be operated by a living creature...Could this be a trap sent by the black fang?" the mage asked. The crowd suddenly looked alarmed but there fate could not be avoided. Suddenly the light flared again and the humans were gone.

Suddenly the squirrel from a few paragraphs ago crept out with a tiny remote. "Soon all you humans will learn to fear us and our smurf master!" Laughing evilly.. (Yet still managing to be cute in the eyes of 79 of the populace.) The squirrel took off into his forest habitat

END OF CHAPTER.

A/N another one bites the dust. This was more of a filler chapter But I promise to anyone who reads my work to update soon. I take anonymous updates and if you review a lot then I might be make the chapters even longer..


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